PLEASE DON'T PLAY THE FIFTY-FIFTY!

The Fifty-Fifty is an ill-advised dumpster fire of a game. It's not fun or inventive, and players are sure to be riddled with regret and hopelessness. If you hate joy and beauty and insist on playing, then here, begrudgingly, are the rules.
Please note that playing the Fifty-Fifty comes with a binding moral obligation to support us on Patreon.

1. Choose one of the two links below in your mind.
2. Click on the one you've chosen.
3. Observe the disappointing results.
4. If you win, you'll be redirected to our Patreon page where you'll be morally obligated to support the show.
5. If you lose, you'll be redirected to the losers page where you'll watch the horrifying video in its entirety.
6. By choosing to play, you agree to not describe the loser's video except in general, sweeping, horrible terms. All specifics are forbidden.
7. After watching the loser's video, you're morally obligated to support the show by following the Patreon link at the bottom of the page.
8. You may only play once per episode. If you try to play more we'll know.
9. Which link leads to which result changes constantly. There is literally no way to game this system. It's impossible. Don't even try.

WE HATE THAT THIS IS A THING.
PLEASE TAKE STOCK OF ALL THE GOOD THINGS IN YOUR LIFE BEFORE PROCEDING.